Cause I am Green

Theoretically, yes ain’t we lucky

Alex.- So, did you enjoy your 6 months in detox?
Jack.- Hell no, it was just my get out of jail card. But now that they’re far gone, I’m enjoying them.

[“Jack, you’ve gone way too far, this time I’ll have to put you in an uncomfortable situation, and I’m thinking jail should be it… But given the situation, we could make a deal…”]   ‘Edward Fareby, Judge of the case.’ (Of course, while Jack keeps owning those amounts of money, Fareby will always be the one to sentence him)

Alex.- But I know you didn’t quit that fast. When you got out, were you determined to stay clean?
Jack.- I was, and I could try to… See, I knew it was like having a loaded gun in my mouth , and I liked the taste of the metal. But when you realize you lost your job, your family, your friends, and you’re out of money, you got injuries all over your body because of the debts, and you can’t make up your mind about what happened yesterday… you just want to go back to that feeling of waking up knowing where the fuck you are. I wanted a lot of feelings back in my life.
Alex.- You mean you had to reach the bottom again to make a decision. That’s when the hard work starts?
Jack.- Well… no. Leaving these substances behind is not that hard, I mean, not hard at all. The hard stuff is to take the decision. As you said, I had to reach the bottom line in order to make the hard step.
Alex.- Thats profound. Yes, very wise thing you just said. Are you ok since then?
Jack.- Yeah, pretty much.
Alex.- How about money?
Jack.- While in detox my father passed out. I was the only heir, so I got all the money he wouldn’t give me before. All the money I needed so I didn’t have to… work for this guy.
Alex.- What kind of work was it?
Jack.- I’ll tell you about it if you promise to not ask anything else about it.
Alex.- Alright.
Jack.- I had to be a whore, basically. I mean, not his whore, he had amm… some pals.
Alex.- Have you been afraid of coming back to those dark days? Of missing black tar?
Jack.- No. Those days were long enough. And we people are always looking for something different, new, exciting. And now I’ve found it, I can see that the whole world is waiting for me to enjoy it, while being conscious about it. Now life’s more worthwhile, now I just smile.
Alex.- I see.


You may leave them, but they’ll never leave you.

One day, i will leave. I might think ill never come back. Probably, because of the shitty country ill be pushing aside. Ill have no comments about it.
Ill be on touch with my closer friends and some of my family with short phone calls and chatting sessions. But those calls will start to decrease, and ill get new friends.
Ill be the happiest guy ever, ill get kinda rich, ill enjoy my job and ill worry about stupid stuff. And itll go like that for years. 2? 5? 10? maybe even 20 or 30.

Then, several things may happen. I might get nostalgic and ill miss everyone i left behind. If i feel like it, i might even write a book about it.
Or… someone could get sick. My mother could be dying?, or maybe one of my old friends?. No matter how, ill want to come back, ill need to come back.
So one day, i will come back.

A friend will receive me at the airport:
“Jeez man,  we re so old now. So many shit has happened. Do u remember that?. I missed you man.“. Ill hate those conversations, they are uncomfortable and nonsense. Ill smile though, guess i missed them too.
Ill visit all still living family:
“God… you are such a man now! Look at you… a grown up. We sure missed you.“. Ill hate these too, but ill be glad.

As natural, ill let the most important person for the end of the list. Who might it be?
I dont know, maybe the friend who supported me the most… or maybe the person i hated… Doesnt matter, he or she will be important.

We will look at each others eyes.
We will smile.
And just by then, ill realize what the fuck i did.

If you are what you eat, I’ll be sweet.

Oh, well you can say that Im the one curly fry in the box of a regular messing with the flavor.
And you are saving me for last, but you better not eat me at all; Im living in a fastfood bag making friends with the ketchup and salt.
People say that Im a crazy for not moving on to better things, instead of sitting around trash talking with the onion rings… but I guess its much too soon to leave this easy life, so pass me the spoon and pass the analytical knife.

Well believe it or not I super-sized my sights on the surprise in a cereal box:
My stomachs smaller than my eyes so I went to see the doctor and he said “Turn your head and then cough”. I didnt listen a word he said, instead, I couldnt wait to get off.
He said I cant have this but I cant have that, I should keep wishing I was living the life of a cat but, huh, I aint the one whos gonna be missing the feast. (And just like you aint the one who seems to be calming the beast)

Now, you are about to get cut up or get cut down.
Its all about the wordplay or all about the sound of my tone in my voice.
You gotta let me make my choice alone before my food gets cold.
So you better shut up(or get shot down).
Now its all about the know-how, all just a matter of taste.
Stop telling me the way that i gotta play.

Theres just too much food in my plate.

The ballad of an Invisible Man

This is the story of a man who
after thirty years of loneliness
his sperm, intactly, dried
the pollen never appeared…

He walks alone, among the multitude
a curved back, a lightless look
as neglected as it uses to happen
a stripped sock, and the other one full gray.

He gets in the bar, and looks around
among the tables, no one noticed him
he takes his hat, he folds his jacket
and the air gets filled with the sad Aznavour’s melody.

‘Very good night. Again you?
What’s wrong with you man? I don’t see you’re ok!’
an ashtray, the same of yesterday
and the day before yesterday, and before the day before yesterday.

And that’s how another night begins
no! there are no memories, nothing to talk about.
He had no sons, no women to miss.
only the  abysmal gap of a life that leaves

Around 2 o’clock the miracle happened.
a lost soul gets to the meson:
– Excuse me sir, may I give you a flower?
– Are you talking to me?… Do you even see me?
– Between invisibles we can watch our selves…

Just be happy that you made it this far

Open your hands, reach out and hold on tight. With your luck this wont be over quick. It’s just the fear of letting go.
The stress gets harder now; the mood is let down.(Don’t hold your breath for too long)
Let’s play it for the last time; I don’t really want to get across that line.
I plan to take advantage of this, no matter what they say.(Just send them all to hell)

Back up the feelings that you claim now, cz I’ll be the one punishing any mistake.(You)